stealing company time.

when i was recently asked (in a somewhat demeaning manner i might add) why i clock out when i cook lunch, i looked up surprised and responded that my company pays me to work, not to cook.

it was a no brainer for me.

i went on to share that i don’t clock out to make coffee, or go pee. but, if i know i’m going to be slow to drop off the kids at the pool, i will clock out to head to the bathroom. i don’t want be stressed from on-the-clock guilt, which no amount of cute, colorful unicorn-sold footstools would cure.

i work remotely and am hourly. i also love my employer. so i’ve been thinking about his question for weeks now. it’s still plagues me. maybe as a male he is use to taking every opportunity (if i’m gender stereotyping).

i think about all the people out there, using company time in whatever way they please. aren’t they walking around with pounds of guilt on their shoulders? even if i wanted to i couldn’t.

the guilt would kill me.

i try to live authentically and with integrity…

i’m by no means perfect!

when it comes to working remotely, a certain amount of trust and self-discipline is necessary. the company needs to trust that you’re doing your job and you need to get your stuff done, hold yourself accountable, and find ways that make you the most productive.

i think about that saying that goes something like:

“who are you when no one is watching?”

i don’t know who wrote it. but when no one is watching, and when NO ONE will find out or figure out what you’ve done or who you really are, who are you?

i think it’s a great test of the ego.

i never want to be “caught” because i hate that feeling in my stomach. it makes me feel sick. so instead of finding ways of hiding behavior that would give that feeling if questioned, i don’t do those things.

maybe for you it’s a question of God holding you accountable.

or Allah, Yahweh, Hu, or whoever your deity is.

i have this inner compass that makes me feel sick when i’m not in alignment with my best self.

don’t have something to guide you North? (or whatever direction you think is your true heading?)

start noticing your body. your brain. how does it feel to do things that align with the best version of yourself? start noticing how you feel after you act in a way that maybe doesn’t align with the person you really want to be. you can even go back to basics: write down all the things you really hate about people. then write down all the things you really love about people. dig. then dig deeper. then dig deeper. cry about it even.

we are often disconnected with our truest self. sometimes it’s so lost it takes tragedy or great loss to catch even a glimpse. sometimes even that doesn’t do it.

take 8 seconds. Brene Brown says she’ll take 8 seconds to contemplate a question. Byron Katie says it too–take the time really needed to think about the question, ground yourself, and give a true answer based on what you want. remove the bs of what others want from you, or what they’ll think.

what tactics do you employ to get in touch with your inner goddess? your inner compass?